Injuries Marked the Night!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Good morning sports fans.

Good morning sports fans. I wish I could start the season’s first Softball report off with a big bang, but about the only bang you will get it the sound of pouty lips dropping to your chins. That be because of the two losses we chalked up. Thank the Lord this was just an exhibition game. And what an exhibition it was!

On the bright side, we have some new meat…uh, I mean, new players who showed promise. Take “Smoking,” Ron Girard who showed great potential with his play, for one. Then there was Elizabeth, “Stretch,” Waller who was outstanding at First…except when her favorite Marine, John, “Hooo-Whaa,” Waller fired a couple errant fireballs her way. How did the couch sleep Friday night Mr. Hooo-Whaa?

Another newbie, Bob, “Lean Bean,” Stueber is another bright spot to watch. (We’re watching you, big guy!) Also new to the diamond was Debbye, “Thunder,” Whitehurst. Why Thunder, you ask? Well, Thunder follows Lightning…now you figure that out.

John, “Bad Boy,” Bovender is on track for a great season. He is followed by his lovey, “Bad Girl,” Wanda; at least 3’ behind him. Oh, is that chauvinistic or what!

Hey…surprise, surprise… Ole “Missile Mike,” Harrison debuted as a pitcher, for the first time. Okay…not bad! Really…not good, but not bad. “Iron Man,” Jack Sheets pitched the last game without even bending, as that was kinda painful for the old one. I guess the Iron Man rusteth a bit.

The Duffy’s were in great form and both show signs of a great season ahead. Ole “Roughie,” Mike and “Toughie,” Gillian Duffy will certainly lend to a winning season. (Praying)

How ‘bout that Rosie, “Daughter of Flash,” Morong? She made a great backstop as she repeatedly stop all the grounders belted at her; and her ancient Dad, “Jumping Jack Flash,” Haga can still turn and burn with the best of them…even if the smoke is a little less intense than seasons past.

INTENSE…yea, that be our Linda, “Rain,” Showers. Our 2007 season MVP. This one is a real pro and we expect her to rain all over our future opponents. (You da bomb!)

Speaking of 2007 season MVP, our “Raging Ray,” Williams still has the power and agility of last season. He keep pinning the outfielder to the back fence with his rockets. I do believe the outfielder was using a large basket to snag all those, sure to be, homers. (RATS)

Well…there is always, Angie! Miss “Ouch” Sebree is worth coming out to see in action. I hear Monty Python is looking to steal some of her motions. Thanks for the show, young one.

Angie’s own, TB, “Teddy Bear,” James Sebree was Mr. Velcro in the outfield. He snagged everything that came his way.

Time to wrap it up….No…I didn’t forget Lightning. Jeni, “Lightning,” Harrison was the star of the night. Not only did she flatten a foolish runner who actually thought they could bowl her over on their way to home plate, but she actually…. are you ready…Ta Da…she made it to FIRST BASE!!! Below is proof. Way to go Lighting.

Don’t forget to wash your socks and clean your toenails.

Til next time, I remain, yours truly, 911, Reserve Extraordinaire,

Lucian Thompson