Lost Both Games - Won Team Improvement!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Well, Hello again sports fans. Kinda getting used to hearing about the Trinity Warriors losing the games, aren’t you? Well, after what I saw this past Friday night, I do believe we have a team that has developed to the point that we can start to pick a few wins up. Colonial Baptist is in first place and undefeated so far. We gave them a couple real scares by coming very close to unseating the winning team. They were great folks and much deserve their ranking, but look out next year!

Ole James, “T.B.” Sebree came to play. He was scooping up near everything that came anywhere near to him in outfield. His batting is improving also. Way to go T.B! His fearsome wife, Angie, “Ouch,” Sebree, was grinding her teeth at bat. The umpire keep asking where the chain saw noise was coming from. You Graaaaa girl!

Talk about pretty and nice; well that be our lady ex-marine, Elizabeth, “Stretch,” Waller. This warrior did a superb job at first catching so many balls that the other team were considering stealing her away from us. Fat chance as her tough as nails husband, Jack, “Hooo Whaa,” Waller; our active duty Marine, ain’t about to let that happen. Jack was everywhere doing a great job, as usual.

Well…home plate was protected by our, now famous, Jeni, “Lighting,” Harrison. Her reputation much be getting around because most batters seem to give our mother Lioness total respect when they cross her plate. Fear can be good, right! Why just ask her husband, “Missile Mike,” Harrison who took the brunt of her wrath when he got in the way of a ball coming home for a, “could have been,” out if…well you get the picture. Good thing he had to go straight to work from the ball game.

“Raging Ray,” Williams did a great job again. Though, his batting was hampered by the crazy pitches coming from a very unorthodox pitcher. Still, his contribution to the game was stellar.

The Duffy’s made an imposing pair as they shook up the other team a time or two. Sweet Pot, Gillian, “Toughie,” Duffy played well as her hubby, Mike,” Roughie,” Duffy turned in another great job.

John, “Bad Boy,” Bovender has really become one of the best out there. His work on 3rd. and at bat is one of the reasons that we can shout a little out there. You da man, Bad Boy.

The OLD, “Iron Man,” Jack Sheets seems to be perfecting his Sweat Ball pitch these days. Seems his pitching is getting gooder and gooder. Not bad for a West Virginia boy who is use to throwing pine cones at skunks.

How ‘bout that, “Mean Lean Bean,” Stueber. This stick ball player is turning up the heat out there. (Got to talk with him about roasting marsh mellows in the bull pit.) (Uh, make mine well done.)

He’s back and he’s fighting mad! Yep…ole, “Smoking,” Ron Girard is back with a vengeance. After being beaned in the face by a wild pop-up a few games back; Ron is tearing up the turf in an all out effort to keep his eyes looking up and his glove held high. Way to go Bro…

Hey, a newbie hit the field for the first time in the last game. Introducing Alex, “Too Tall,” Best. He has fire in his gut and grit in his teeth. We will be looking for great things from the giant.

Our, Can Do girl, Linda,“Rain,” Showers was a little hard on herself as she complained of being just a little drizzle instead of a deluge for this game. Well, I guess into everyone’s life, a little rain must fall! (That was a good one! Hooray for me!)

Now, I saved this player for last. It seems that our Debbye,“Thunder,” Whitehurst has set a new Guinness World Book record for the slowest swing in the history of softball. Check this out! The pitch is delivered…Thunder springs into action and begins her, now record breaking swing. From start to finish of this swing, the following took place: The Umpire combs his hair and cleans all ten of his finger nails; then, he gouges an ounce of belly button lint from his midsection while sending out for a Taco which he receives and eats; then he flosses his teeth, gargles with some bottle water and spits it out just in time to say… ”STRIKE, YOU”RE OUT OF THERE!” Debbye will be available for autographs immediately following the service.

Well folks, fatigue is starting to overcome me so I will close for now. Remember, old people are slow for a reason…WE”RE OLD! Stop pushing us!!!

Till next time, I remain, yours truly, 911, Reserve Extraordinary,

Lucian Thompson